Baby in bjorn
3 year old in front of cart
5 year old in back
Groceries stuffed in with 5 year old (can only buy enough for 1 day at this rate)
Baby starts screaming and grabbing food off the shelves.
3 year old is crying because she doesn’t want to be in baby seat.
5 year old is standing in the back of the cart.
Take 5 year old out of cart (promise her goldfish when we get home if she won’t run off or touch ANYTHING)
Put 3 year old into back of cart
Put baby into front seat of cart and strap in
Put bjorn into back of cart (even less space for groceries)
Baby has mysteriously managed to slide out of seat belt and is standing up facing backward reaching into cart, ready to topple over
3 year old has begun rummaging through groceries and opened a package of grapes
5 year old is fondling peaches across the aisle
Turn 1 year old back around and tighten straps
Reseal grape bag and hide under bjorn
Make 5 year old promise to keep one hand on the cart at all times (remember those goldfish?)
Turn to grab a box of cereal off the shelf
5 year old starts climbing over the side of cart (technically she’s obeying rules because she is holding onto the cart)
Cart tips over, sending 3 year old crashing to the ground and baby (who thank goodness is securely fastened) is still in seat but horizontal
All 3 kids are crying hysterically, 5 year old is trapped under cart.
Pick up cart to release 5 year old who gets up and can walk (phew)
Grab baby out of the seat and check for injuries, (miraculously appears to be unscathed).
Rummage through pile of grapes, string cheese sticks, Cheerios, yogurts, and a bjorn to find 3 year old. Drag her screaming out with my free hand, no visible injuries.
Helpful store clerk comes over and picks up mess of groceries off the ground and check that everyone is all right.
Everyone is NOT all right.
We are all 4 crying hysterically.
Buckle baby into car seat.
Buckle 3 year old into car seat who is asking where her grapes are
Buckle 5 year old into car seat in back row (have to climb over 1 and 3 year olds to reach her)
Buckle myself into the front seat.
Turn up “The Gruffalo” CD nice and loud
Cry into steering wheel.
Smile at my sweet kids all sucking their thumbs in the back of the car, finally calm.
Go inside for stories all snuggled together on the couch.
Make peanut butter and jelly for dinner (again).
Ready for the next adventure.