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Finding time for yourself, away from motherhood, is not an easy task. It also shouldn’t be seen as a task, but more times than not – it is. As a mom of one-year-old twins, I have struggled over the months to find time for myself. Their needs come first, as they should, but sometimes that leaves a new mom to get smacked in the face by “Baby Blues” or to force aside her own interests and hobbies. While I was able to still intertwine some of my hobbies into my schedule early on, I also had to push aside some of them. This brought forward a deep depression and made me feel less like the confident, secure person I had sculpted myself into over the years.
As the new year approaches, the cliché resolutions run through the minds of many: lose some weight, eat healthier, get more sleep, budget better. While these goals are all wonderful and terrific to work towards, they can either be too unrealistic or not focused on the person themselves. Finding a way to make a resolution that is realistic and focused on your own genuine interests makes for a better goal in the long run. Stepping into the puddle of cliché, go-to resolutions doesn’t make you the unique individual you are.
This year I will be focusing on resolutions that embrace two very important self-supporting factors: self-love and self-empowerment. By making my goals focus on improving my confidence and lifting my spirits will bring forward a more positive mindset in the long run. When my head is in a positive place, my mental state will be beneficial for not only myself, but my girls as well.
Stepping Towards Self-Love
It sometimes sounds a bit overused or cliché but finding a way to focus on loving yourself is important. This truth has taken me years to embrace and I still am working towards fully loving the person I am. Loving yourself is hard. It is probably one of the hardest things to do when you are someone who struggles with low self-esteem or a mental illness or a negative mindset. Looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself you are beautiful is probably a terrifying act. Writing down a list of all the great truths about yourself probably makes you gag.
However, doing these things are extremely beneficial – especially for mothers.
Being a positive role-model for your little one is pretty much written in the “Golden Book of Motherhood Rules” – if there were such a thing. Moms hope their children will look at them and learn from them, but if the mom is uncertain with herself and her self-worth, how will that look to her child? How will her baby be able to genuinely look in the mirror and see herself as beautiful and worthy?
Making a pact with yourself to do this is the key.
Stop Struggling with Self-Empowerment
You hear the phrase “self-empowerment” everywhere these days and though it can often get old, it is an important concept. The idea behind self-empowerment is finding a way to push yourself in a positive direction while feeling strong and confident doing so. This concept often follows improved self-love because once you embrace the person you are, you can push yourself towards those personal goals you’ve set.
When you feel empowered and powerful, you feel as if you can do anything.
This is a feeling most moms want to embrace, but like most things – it isn’t easy. To make this resolution happen, you will first have to work on improving your self-confidence. Find what drives you and find time to squeeze in a few minutes for that each day. If you know you are a good writer, take five minutes every night to think creatively. If you know you’re a good athlete, get out and get physical. Do something you know that you are proud of and good at. Build yourself up by supporting the positives in your life you already know you have.
Making self-empowerment a goal is a realistic goal for a new mom to set. Once she feels empowered as well as mentally and emotionally strong, she can then move towards that other list of resolutions: lose weight, eat better, read more, exercise.
It takes personal care and love to get to that “list” – so make self-love and self-empowerment a top priority.
Jennifer Aline is a coffee addict, mama of twins, and a passionate freelance writer and author. She writes for Moms.com on a regular basis and has had articles in publications such as the NY Daily News, NY Post, and In Good Health Newspaper. Aline received her Bachelor’s Degree in Child and Family Studies from Keuka College and worked in the Human Services field before her two little girls entered her life. Aline now focuses primarily on writing, teaching aerial arts classes in the evenings, and caring for her twin daughters – all while continuously chugging coffee, of course.
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