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  • What Happened to Just Being "Mom"
  • Jennifer Aline Graham
    Jennifer Aline Graham
  • Mental Health

What Happened to Just Being "Mom"

Stay at home mom

Moms work hard as hell. There is no easier way to state that truth. Mothers are probably the hardest working humans on earth and whether you like Luke Bryan or not, when he sang about Moms being saints, he was right. Moms carry a human (or humans) inside of them for months and feel their body transform from something they were used to, to something completely foreign. After that, their body starts leaking and stretching and ripping and healing. Once the baby arrives, a mama must hook herself up to a juice-sucking machine, get her nipples gummed to death, ands rearrange her entire routine to match the one her baby has created.

Talk about a transition.

Since we all agree that moms are insanely hardworking individuals, why does there need to be titles separating moms into categories?

“There Were Negative Connotations Connected to Every Title.”

Before delivering my twin girls, I worked a Monday through Friday, nine-to-five job in the human services field. Not long after my girls made their debut, we realized daycare would suck every penny of my paycheck if I decided to go back into the field part-time or full-time. This was a very hard reality for me to grasp onto. I had grown used to financially supporting all aspects of my life and now, I was about to stop doing that altogether – even though I would be “providing the daycare” for my daughters, in a way.

However, I was stubborn and determined. I investigated every possible way to make a few bucks while staying home with my girls. I began freelance writing, teaching aerial arts classes two evenings a week, and teaching VIPKID from the ‘home classroom’ I created. Even though I had started making a few dollars while caring for my girls full-time, I would still scroll through comments on social media and articles discussing this-and-that about stay-at-home moms and working moms.

No matter what I read, there were negative connotations connected to every title – and it disgusted me.

This made me wonder if society would ever go back to just seeing a mom as just that: a mom. Of course, a mother is more than a mother. She has passions and hobbies and interests and stressors like every other human being on this planet. However, it made me wonder if there will ever be positive, forward movement when it comes to the labels of motherhood. 

Making Way for Personal, Positive Movement Forward

In truth, I think as long as there are people who feel the need to spread their negativity onto others, there will be these labels. However, as long as there are mothers spreading their positivity onto others, there will at least be positive movement forward.

In the end, that movement forward is what matters.

The more like-minded, uplifting people you surround yourself with, the more likely you are to not have these labels impact you. Create a community that brings forth the best in everyone and does not look at a fellow mom and see her only as a SAHM (stay at home mom) or a working mom or a work-from-home mom. Again, you are not what society labels you as, even if those titles stick around for the long haul. Even if they do, by being with others who understand you, feel for you, and believe in you – you can push through the negative barriers labels sometimes bring.

Real Moms Speak Out About Labels  

“I’m a full-time student and SAHM. My husband is the sole source of our income. It’s this way because I decided I wanted a different path than what I was doing and decide to go back to school. I feel like when someone thinks of a SAHM they think of someone who doesn’t really want to work but decides to work on the chores around the house and taking care of the kids instead. Some people tend to think SAHMs are lazy. They don’t realize that kids are indeed a full-time job. I don’t think the labels will ever disappear. I think showing society that stay-at-home moms come in all shapes and sizes and have aspirations and hobbies would lessen the stigma. We’re not only stay at home moms, we’re superheroes. We are incredible beings who do amazing things.” – Ally Lands, mom of two

“All of the moms that are SAHM want to work and the ones who work would rather stay at home. You can never win! Either way, if you’re a working mom or a SAHM, you’re still a MOM and that is the most important job.” – Stacy Michaels, mom of two 

“I don’t think they’re going anywhere, but they don’t really bother me. I try really hard not to label anyone or let any kind of label bother me. I’m a SAHM with a side gig, but I’ve probably gotten equal backlash from staying home as I did going to work. Someone’s always going to be unhappy and have an opinion.” – Stephanie Newman, mom of two

“I don’t think the titles will disappear. If u are a stay-at-home mom, work-from-home mom, or a working mom, you’re still a mom doing a very important and not so easy job! I am a stay-at-home mom since October 2017 and I don’t mind being called a stay-at-home mom, but the people that think I’m just home relaxing, watching tv, on my phone, having the time of my life - you’re wrong. Yes, I love being home with kids and I love my kids to death, but it’s not all easy and happy times. It’s very challenging too. Some days I wish I was at work with a little peace and quiet, but then I remember how lucky I am to be able to watch all of my kids different milestones they achieve.” – Jessica Sugg, mom of three

“I'm a SAHM and I tell you what, it is not easy. But when I tell people that, I feel as if I am silently getting shamed for it. Especially those who know I went to college and got my degree in something I am so passionate in. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of being able to establish myself anywhere moving every couple of years and I do somewhat feel defeated that I spent so much time, money and energy into getting a degree and being the first in my family to get a bachelor's degree, but with the military life it just can’t happen.” – Cherie Bealer, mom of one

 

Biography

 Jennifer Aline is a coffee addict, mama of twins, and a passionate freelance writer and author. She writes for Moms.com on a regular basis and has had articles in publications such as the NY Daily News, NY Post, and In Good Health Newspaper. Aline received her Bachelor’s Degree in Child and Family Studies from Keuka College and worked in the Human Services field before her two little girls entered her life. Aline now focuses primarily on writing, teaching aerial arts classes in the evenings, and caring for her twin daughters – all while continuously chugging coffee, of course.

Social Media:

Instagram: the.write.mom

Facebook: Momhood Mayhem 

Twitter: jenni_aline

  • Jennifer Aline Graham
    Jennifer Aline Graham
  • Mental Health

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